And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
