Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
