you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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