My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
