I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
