I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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