We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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