Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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