i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
