I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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