My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
