I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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