She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
