Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
