i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
is that a dick in a sweater?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
