we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm at about main and main street
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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