ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there's paper in my vomit.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
