do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
