do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
