Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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