I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
