I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This is classic penis vs brain.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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