I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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