You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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