I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
