My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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