no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
