I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
