I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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