hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
