dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
