I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
