Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
