Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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