So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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