Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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