dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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