there was a trapeze. enough said
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
