don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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