You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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