He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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