no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize