wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
