This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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