Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
