You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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