If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
