dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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