Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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