just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
