Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
