I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
