yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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