I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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