There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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