Where did you get a picture of my penis
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
