so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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