I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
