if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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