I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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