The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My vagina just recognized that song.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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